"Who's there?"
"To."
"To who?"
"No, to whom."
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
What do you say when you're comforting a grammar Nazi?
There, their, they're...
What is a grammar teacher's favorite breakfast?
Synonym rolls
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running,
J.K. Rowling.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A teacher says "Spit your gum out" and a train says "Chew Chew".
Back in high school I was in an English class and a fellow student asked the teacher how long our essays should be.
He responded saying, "As long as a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything that needs to be covered, but short enough to keep me interested."
Why don't English teachers like parole?
They prefer complete sentences.
My English teacher got mad at the format of my essay. It wasn't justified.
What do you call a punctuation mark that has a girlfriend?
Accommadating!
Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
